Rome October, 2010 Crossing header

Camera : Leica M4   Lens : Summaron 35mm f3,5    Film : Ilford HP5+ @ ISO400   Developer : Ilford ID11

I shouldn’t be surprised at what people do to make a little (or a lot of) money. One of the more unusual I’ve seen was a passing lorry bearing a nicely presented sign declaring the owner / driver to be in the “cattle foot trimming” business. I had, at the time, little awareness of the need for pedicures amongst the bovine breeds. However, the knowledge gained from this brief encounter means that, if ever I find myself the unexpected owner of a cow, I can rest safe in the knowledge that I can, at the very least, arrange to have its feet looked after by a specialist in the field (or the cowshed – dependent on where I decide to keep the beastie).

The gentlemen in this photograph had perfect timing. Not so much in his ability to head a football – I could never lay claim to even scant knowledge of nor interest in anything to do with such skills and I confess that I am completely devoid of any talent whatsoever when it comes to  “sports” such as football.  It was more his apparent perfect utilisation of the limited time afforded to money-making by a set of pedestrian crossing lights that caught my attention.

His modus operandi appeared to be :

• Select a relatively busy street with a suitable pedestrian crossing.
• Approach the pedestrian crossing and push the button indicated, signalling a request to stop the traffic (thus rendering the road safe for “pedestrians crossing”).
• Wait until the crossing lights indicate that it is safe to cross.
• Proceed into the road, in front of the now-stationary traffic, simultaneously launch the football into the air and bounce it on (or off?) the forehead.
• Continue to bounce the ball off (or on?) the forehead as a public demonstration of hours of self-discipline spent practicing this little-appreciated skill (N.B. : Allowing the ball to touch the ground at any time during this part of the activity generally ruins the whole effect. Avoid this if at all possible.)
• On reaching the mid-point of the crossing, stop the ball-bouncing activity and tuck the ball under an arm in a smooth, sportsmanlike motion (left or right arm is optional and only further demonstrates the ambidextrous nature of the perpetrator).
• With the ball safely restrained under one arm, extend the other with hand open (palm uppermost) and approach the driver’s window of each of the lines of stationary vehicles.    (N.B. : This is a clear indication that a cash reward is expected in return for the entertainment already supplied.) Smiling is optional, but may well assist in allaying any fears on the drivers’ part as to the mental state of the person approaching.
• Be fairly insistent, though not aggressive, since many drivers do not retain cash readily to hand within the vehicle and may need to be persuaded to make an effort to   a) search for it   and   b) part with it.
• The pedestrian crossing warning lights / sounds will, at some point in the cash-retrieving proceedings, make it clear that it is no longer safe to stand amongst the vehicles (which may well be moving by this time). Discretion should be used as to exactly when this moment is reached, at which point it is desirable to beat a hasty retreat to one side of the road or the other.
• On reaching the pavement (irrespective of the side chosen) push the pedestrian crossing button again and repeat the whole sequence until  a) carrying the weight of money received makes it impossible to continue  or    b) fatigue in the legs makes it impossible to continue   or   c) the blinding headache caused by bouncing a ball continuously on and off (or off and on?) the forehead makes it impossible to continue.

Whatever one thinks of this gentleman’s chosen occupation, is it better than relying wholly on a State Benefits System for an income?  Should such skills, perhaps achieved through pursuit of one or more hobbies, be used to generate income as a supplement to a State Benefits System?  Should income generated by this activity be declared to the Inland Revenue (or Roman equivalent)?   Discuss…

Eddie